Doylestown

people think it’s a small town with a bunch of rich kids and big houses…but there is so much more. in doylestown, middle school parties get busted by the cops. in doylestown, drunk is the common language. you’ll find a drug dealer on every corner of the town, and it’s not unusal to find kids driving around and smoking in their brand new escalade that they got for their 16th birthday from “mommy and daddy.” we hang out in houses bigger than castles and steal our parents alcohol. we also have an extensive list of miwf’s(“hott moms”). we bake out our garages when our parents are vacationing in aruba (staying in a 5 star resort of course). our private school-ers are way more corrupt than the public school-ers and we live for sports. we live for play-offs and paint our faces for middle-school basketball games. so next time you hear “doylestown is so boring,” just look past the historical monuments and focus on the pregnant 16 year old driving a red bmw convertable. peace
“wanna come bake out my new mini-cooper?”
“i wanna bake out your new mini-cooper with your mom!”
28 more definitions
doylestown is a small town in pennsylvania.
i live in doylestown.
doylestown, falsely advertised as the ideal place where your kids can grow up, yeah, if they want to learn the art of strip poker, beer pong, and who can pack the bowl the fastest. fake i.d.’s?? doylestownies prefer snooping around in our parents licker cabinet while they’re sleeping upstairs. walking up and down the same street only to stop at nat’s, planet smoothie, or starbucks for a few hours is a h-ll of a good time and in doylestown, you’re not cool until you roll down that window and call the random kid standing on the corner a f-g. yes it’s doylestown, yes they’re rich and most likely drunk, and yes they are extremely bored (so call up that random kid in your 2nd period cl-ss and hook up behind a shady building while your friends stumble around looking for another beer.)
“wanna get drunk and make out?”
“…sure”
d-town is a haven. it’s a nice small town that has the comforts of suburban lving as well as the excitement of a real town. the adults like to think that doylestown, lahaska, and new hope make a trifecta of bucks county poshness. the kids like to think that town and all of its crazy townies make us unique and charming in a way no outsiders could understand. doylestown is a place where most people have money (but not all by any means) but no one really wants to fess up to it. and if they do, they’re probably still in middle school. doylestown is a place where, yeah, finding pot isn’t that hard, but it’s also a place where you can find amazingly intellectual people musing on a bench or stoop. it’s a place where children (read: middle schoolers) infest the streets till about 10:30 in the summer, and then the high schoolers and grads just chill. doylestown isn’t extreme, it’s whatever you make it. it’s not a stereotype, it’s a place with more opportunities than most lazy suburbs, and you should give it some love.
just another night in doylestown, “hey, gimme a smoke, and let me tell you about the time i got chased by the cops.”
doylestown is a haven for rich kids. as much as you b-tch about so-and-so’s new convertible, you know that you got one just like it last month. everyone complains about how much they hate it and how they can’t wait to get get out, but once you do you realize how great you had it there. in short, doylestown is the sh-t. let’s hear it for smoothie’s, ritas, and hanging out in parking lots. you know how we do.
the best place to grow up
a leafy american suburb located in the heart of bucks county, pennsylvania. other definitions portray doylestown as one of two things; a drug haven littered with drunk teens, or a yuppie town with sweater wearing yuppie f-gs. the reality falls in between, and most people in “d-town” as it is so affectionately called, are normal, though admittedly hard working people. population hovers around 10,000.
women are reasonably good looking and often drunk or buzzed, but i won’t kid you; this isn’t a southern drinking town littered with beautiful women.

doylestown is a hub for surrounding areas that includes law offices, a courthouse, small businesses, and famed high school football powerhouse central bucks west. lately, they have been mediocre.

police in doylestown are quite good, if a little bit too strict. there is not a drug dealer on every corner whatsoever, this isn’t some trashy, ghetto town at all. these other definers rip doylestown down for being a yuppie paradise, and simultaneously destroy it for being a seedy drug haven. it’s neither.

personally, i know many people that laud doylestown for its small town charm, even though those same people will grumble about the tough driving and parking conditions. such is life in a small town.
1) hey let’s meet up at doylestown, hit up a few bars

2) okay, sounds good, that’s a fairly cool town
all you people spend too much time speculating on our town. we never asked for this reputation, we never thought doylestown was anything special until people would come here and tell us. we are just normal kids, growing up in a normal town, it just so happens that we have more money than most. so get over it. stop writting about and giving it more attention than it deserves. the press gives doylestown enough attention as it is, you don’t need to add to it. just let it go, let us go on our rich, selfish, “new money”, “uneducated mother” ways, as all you f-ckin idiots like to think of us. you can insult us as much as you want. it doesn’t matter, becuase when it comes down to it, you would live here if you could.
“go write something about your own town”
“it’s getting old.”
“kiki, take the 611 byp-ss it will make us look bad if you even come through our town.”

peace