Dreadknot

that moment you realize you’ve eaten too much fiber and this bowel movement is going to be painful as h-ll. it will likely come out as a huge dreadknot.
the coffee had kicked in, my day was going fine until i sat down for my morning bm. i immediately said to myself “oh no!….this is gonna hurt”. i had eaten too much fiber and had created a dreadknot.
a maneuver commonly used in the sport of american football where while in a dogpile a player will pull a dreadlock of an opposing player through his helmet’s ear hole, and then proceed to tie it to his face mask. if the dreadknotter is especially skilled and the dreadlocks are of sufficient length, the player will be able to tie the dreadlock to the other player’s belt and/or shoe laces. the real accomplishment however comes when the player is able to tie more than 1 dreadlock to any part of the other player’s gear resulting in the multi-dreadknot, which is quite an incredible feat indeed.
larry fitzgerald is overrated as h-ll, and his hair is very dumb. i wish aaron ross would dreadknot that b-st-rd the next time they’re in a dogpile.