Eastern University


a small, private, christian university located in the affluent suburbs of philadelphia, the “main line”. here, students are taught to love the poor and the oppressed as part of the core curriculum. a bit pretentious at times, but altogether a lovely gathering of liberal christians trying to find their place in the world.
eastern university
a mid sized baptist college in south eastern pennsylvania that doesn’t have students, but pods. eastern kids think that their sh-t doesn’t stink and think they are holier than anyone else in the state. since they are so perfect, none of the students smoke pot, but go across the road to cabrini to get high. generally low cl-ss, eastern thinks they’re hot sh-t in a champagne gl-ss, but are really cold diarrhea in a dixie cup.
girl one: why does campus smell so bad?
boy one: oh, must be the pot heads from eastern university sneaking on campus again!

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