Eau De Femme


female ejaculatory fluid.

most likely resulting from: coitus, -rg-smic response to fetishes, or a trained expert in the art of c-nn-l-ng-s. on rare occasion occurring spontaneously due to an overwhelming feeling of ecstasy after witnessing a celebrity crush.
example 1: mike: dude what’s that smell?
jake: it’s my new cologne, its called ‘eau d’femme’
mike: dude, it smells familiar man where did you get it?
jake: i hate to break it to you, but your sister let me go down on her last night and her body spontaneously sprayed all over me, that’s when i discovered this marvelous, purely organic and i -ssure you, quite safe aroma which i’ve dubbed ‘eau de femme’, this particular aroma is known as ‘luscious stacy dreams’, quite fascinating isn’t it, it’s been here all along, care to take a closer whiff?
mike: ewe man, get away from me, that’s gross!
jake: f-ggot.
jake: i’m going to kill you -sshole!
example 2:
lizzy: so, like i totally saw kanye east like the other night, and like ermahgerd,
i totally came all over my panties!
jake: hey can i swab the panties you used that night when you saw kanye west? i’ve come up with a new brand of cologne named ‘eau de femme’ and i’d like to name this one ‘ditzy miss lizzy’.
lizzy: ew no you perv! by the way, it’s totally kanye east you idiot! oh and it’s not ‘ditzy miss lizzy’, it’s like totally “dizzy miss lizzy”, you consumer obsessed, backward thinking neanderthal! you think i don’t know who ‘the beatles’ are??
jake: -sigh- f-cking hipsters.
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