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the most awfully stereotypical american town ever. a suburban h-ll where rich white kids pretend to be ghetto and create fake drama to add interest to their otherwise dull lives.
lets settle this.. meet me at the market deli of el dorado hills
1996: a quaint suburb of sacramento, charactarized by its rolling hills and rural surroundings. it is a place affordable to middle cl-ss families looking for an alternative to bustling city life. high performing schools, low crime, and scenic views are all hallmarks of this charming community.

2006: an overdeveloped yuppie infested retreat for bay area transplants who cashed in on their 3 bed 2 bath san jose shanty for a m-ss produced, italianate themed mcmansion terraced upon a formerly rolling hillside.

not everyone is awful in edh, because there are actually a lot of decent people and families which don’t exhibit pretentious att-tudes. but the sn-bs you see eating at masque thinking they are the d-mn rockefellers need to down a couple bottles of sauvignon and loosen up.

el dorado hills started out as a relatively affordable family friendly community and has evolved into an enclave for the nouveau riche with an affint-ty for the newest, largest faux chateau which they live in, but can’t really afford.

bob: “my adjustable rate morgage keeps rising, and i can’t afford it because i just leased a new s500!”
mike: “why don’t you just drive something more affordable?”
bob: “are you crazy? i have to show the guys at work my new ride”
mike:” but didn’t intel just announce they’re slashing 7,000 jobs?”
bob: “what!?!? i’m f-cked!”

five words…
“where are the black people?”

where everyone owns a mercedes, a trophy wife wit botox, and big -ss house.
“how many black people did u see today?”
“7”
“wow thats a lot! in el dorado hills?”
“no i went to folsom.”
“oh”
let’s start this. el dorado hills has grown from a small town into a 50,000+ people in it. today it does not only has the market deli, but safeway, heaven, the movie theater, and many other places were these rich people go to play.

there’s also the over crowed highschool (oak ridge aka c-ke ridge) full of drama queens, track stars, white people pretending to be ghetto, cheerleaders, and a bunch of white sterotypes. this high school surprisingly is one of the best in california. the campus has a bunch of small buildings where students go to cl-ss. during lunch they hang at the quad, courts, lunchroom, or stoner tree etc…

this town has many hidden secrets to it and you will only figure them out once you have lived there. it was once a great place to have a family but now promotes sheltering children and these kids go wild once they grow up.

el dorado hills is great to hate but even better to love.
person: dude some kid last year though some x down the toilet at marina

person: we went to heaven the other day and it was bomb!

person: i love going to the movies and just spending the entire day and sneaking into movies.

person: taco bells five layer burritos are legit!

person: i hate tubers on folsom lake.

person: my parents just bought me a brand new ferrari!

person: the water balloon fight of 08′-09′ was awesome!

person: did he really just streak through campus?

all phrases and stories i have heard from people living in el dorado hills
a. a secure nest of sameness. b. a region dominated by individuals seeking a community but not necessarily wanting to speak with their neighbors. c. a region attacked by outsiders who exhibit their insecurities by attacking a zip code.
pat: i hate people in el dorado hills, they are sn-bs and are out of touch with the real world.
terry: maybe. hey, what are you watching on the television?
pat: the real housewives. these people are lame just like the ones in el dorado hills.
terry: then why do you watch them?

pat: because i really want to be them.
terry: you’re a silly hater.