Elf on the Shelf
an extraordinarily stupid holiday tradition practiced by white, suburb-dwelling families which involves “hiding” a creepy doll somewhere in the house, for their young children to find. this may seem innocent enough, but the real motive behind this fad is to attempt to control the offspring’s behavior through the threat of the elf telling santa claus of the misdeeds they committed under the omnipotent surveillance of the elf. a adult satire of this is wh-r- in the drawer, simply replacing the elf with a scantily clothed barbie doll, and the shelf with a cabinet or drawer.
wife: jim, did you hide the elf on the shelf
husband: no carol, for f-cks sake, i told you it gives me the w-ll–s.
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