Elián González
a little, five-year-old cuban boy who made headlines in 1999 by surviving the trip to florida from cuba in an inner tube. his mother died to get him to florida, but she made the mistake of naming him a name that sounded far too much like the word, alien in english, and having him fathered by a man who would have nothing to do with elián until being elián’s father was suddenly very patriotic.
if elián gonzález wasn’t named a name that sounds like alien in english, maybe the feds wouldn’t have been so obsessed with sending him home, or scared him into going back to cuba by shoving an -ssault rifle in his face.
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