Ellesmere Port
founded in the late 12th century by vatican monks, ellesmere port has remained one of the most imporant places in the northern hemisphere, economicaly and socialy for over 900 years. ellesmere port boasts the largest waste disposal center and one of the largest oil refinerys in europe, suprisingly this only adds to the unique ‘country village’ feel about the place!
now simply refered to as ‘the port’ ellesmere port is famed for its good natured youths and sweet country air. its picture-post-card landscapes are said to be some of the best in the world.
“lets go on holiday to ellesmere port this year”
“i wish i was in ellesmere port right about now!”
“ahhhh, looking over the iluminations on the ‘stanlow’ area is so realxing”
the above town is actually one of the worst places i have ever lived. it is full of drug-taking dole sc-m and is so full of litter that it makes a skip look tidy. everyone thinks they are hard but the truth is that they are all whimpering sc-m-buckets. the sooner stanlow blows-up and takes the sc-m out the better!…
bad people that sin all there life think they are going to h-ll!… truth is they just end up back in ellesmere port!… sc-m sucking gutter filth!…
ellesmere port (often referred to as ‘the port’) is full of drug-taking trash and alcoholics who think their solid like the rest of the town. port heads are out to cause trouble for no actual reason. every girl looks as though she has been rolling around in a giant bag of wotsits. it’s full of chav sc-mbags and couples wear matching tracksuits and everybody that i’ve ever met from ellesmere port are arrogant good for nothing douchebags.
jade: so, dwayne tell me a bit about yourself
dwayne: i’m from ellesmere port me lad ‘coz i’m solid like dat innit
jade: my parents always told me to look at the bright side of things, but in this situation there really isn’t a bright side. -runs for her life-
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