Elvis Conspiracy Theory
the theory that elvis presley did not die from taking a sh-t nor drugs, but instead died from a heart attack after someone found him jerkin his w-ng. the story is that elvis presley had a b-n-r and didn’t want it to show, so he told everyone he had to go take a sh-t and would be back. so he went into the stall, but forgetting to lock the stall’s door, he started grasping that p-ck-r. someone else came in having to take a really bad sh-t and coincidentally opened the stall door of the stall that elvis was in. elvis was so embarr-ssed that he had a heart attack. later, elvis’s manager payed off the media to make up a fake story so elvis wouldn’t be thought of as a loser.
person 1: dude, it would suck to die getting caught cheating on your wife or jacking off.
person 2: i read this really weird article somewhere named “elvis conspiracy theory” that said that elvis presley died jacking off, that really had to have sucked.
person 1: yea, it must’ve.
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