Epic Douche


when someone is such a f-cking tool, he surp-sses the previously insurmountable t-tle of mega douche, and therefore the only adjective left is epic.

the epic douche is easily identifiable as being a complete d-ck to everyone, having an incredibly hot girlfriend he doesn’t deserve, enjoys rap even though he’s whiter than elton john, wearing mostly hollister and abercrombie, and driving a really nice car that his parents bought him, though he calls it his own. of course, each epic douche has even more d-ckish characteristics unique to his pathetic little existence, not just the ones above.
chris: dude, logan is such an epic douche, he first cheated off my final, and then when mr. tharp asked him about it, he said i cheated off of him! what the f-ck, dude?
nick: i hear ya dude, a week ago he stuck his blackberry over the stall door and took a picture while i was taking a leak, and now everyone in school knows i pee sitting down like a girl.
chris: you do?
nick: yes…
(awkward silence)

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