Fake Peace

a practice followed by many teenagers these days. its the cool new thing to do! these teens run around their schools, their friends bas-m-nts, and anywhere else, pretending to give a d-mn about the world. but they don’t tell you that, because forcing you to be influenced by their pressure to join their “peaceful ways” would contradict everything they stand for.

and yet, these fake hippies just want to fit in with the cool kids. but they never did. so they started this rebellion that pressures everyone they know to join because if they don’t, they’re “bad people”. these kids, who want peace so badly, are actually very resentful. and its obvious.

the requirements to be one of these fake peace kids:

a love for the beatles.
and cl-ssic rock.
must love led zepplin.
should be able to play some lz on their guitar. especially stairway to heaven.
must be gay, lesbian, bi, or have some bis-xual experience because thats the cool thing to do. or at least support the gays. oh wait. they should also have the token gay friend. because that’s cool.
drugs and/or alchohol are a must.
it doesn’t hurt to have some sort of “hug a tree” shirt. even though its made from earth-destroying fabrics.
fall in love with incest.
become a vegan, who eats chicken, turkey, fish, and meat occasionally.
hate mcdonalds. just hate it. and fast food. i don’t care how much you secretly like it, you must pretend you hate it.
make sure you throw up the peace sign when a camera comes within 10 feet of you.
be friends with people you secretly can’t stand. i’m pretty sure they don’t like you either.
learn the art of hypocracy. study it well.
obviously, you should hate war. you might not know much about it, but really, just try your hardest to make sure everyone knows you hate it and think its immoral.
should own peace sign jewelry, shirts, bags, earrings, etc.

but most importantly, be an -sshole. and try to make other people feel like they’re -ssholes. the end.
“ew mcdonalds is soooo gross. i haven’t eaten there in about 3 days, because i can’t stand to know that cows are dying for my food. my other awesome lesbian friend, andrew sue, hasn’t eaten there since yesterday, to protest! everyone should!!! if you don’t then i don’t like you and you can’t come to my s-x party. you can’t have my drugs either. they’re all mine. fake peace yall!”