Fart King
“fart king’s” are members of society who constantly rip farts on a level beyond the average person. “fart kings” often take a hidden pride in being able to -ss whistle so often, and as such, they shamelessly fill the air with their filthy flatulence.
although some will suggest that fart king’s get their crown for the overall frequency of their -n-l expulsions, this is but a myth. in fact, a fart king should be given his/her t-tle for their frequency as well as their consistency, decibel volume, and last but not least, their odor.
a “fart king” will often drop bean blowers that not only wreak but also have an appalling pitch and a distracting audible volume. it is these factors which combine to truly give someone the t-tle.
of course, it is difficult to crown a fart king globally, or even state wide, instead it is encouraged to crown “fart kings” within your own social circles. for example; if you’re living in a house of six people and one stands out particularly for their consistent, smelly, and loud barking brownies, you should take immediate action by calling them a “fart king” at every chance possible.
sasha: so i was just sitting there…
dan: -bwwwoowww-
sasha: dan, relax.
dan: -bweerrwee-
sasha: man…
ollie: dan, you’re the fart king.
sasha: yeah, fart king, no one touches you in the fart realm in this residence.
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