faux queued
faux queued adj. phrase; state or condition of being trapped in a
stalled checkout line, esp. one that was initially the shortest and
therefore ostensibly the fastest, but which was plagued thereafter by
unforeseen price checks, old ladies rummaging through purses for exact
change, people redeeming coupons, etc. makes you want to shout “faux queue!”
i was faux queued up the -ss by a little old lady who had politely asked “would you mind if i went ahead of you young man? i’ve only got a couple of items?”; neither of them had price tags, so we had to wait for a price check. then she tried to use expired coupons, and wouldn’t take “no” for an answer, so we had to wait for a store manager to make an exception for her. that settled, she proceeded to rummage in her purse and count out out nickels, dimes, and pennies….
what happens when you get in what you think is the shortest line at the grocery store, but it turns out to take the longest, usually because the person ahead of you needs a price check, or wants to chat to the cashier.
you: “i think this line is going to take the least time”
your shopping buddy: “no, man, this one is shorter”
ten minutes later:
you: “dude, we have been faux queued.”
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