fbriend

someone you are friends with on facebook, only on facebook, have never personally met, exchanged messages with, heard second-hand references to, or maybe not even seen more than a name and avatar of. merely calling them “friend” almost insults the meaning of friendship, especially compared to your real friends or even p-ssing aquaintances. in fact people call them “facebook friend” or “friend-on-facebook” knowing that god will punish them for using the word “friend” so cavalierly.
he’s just a fbriend, i vaguely remember fbriending him when i was drunk and saw he had 56 fbriends in common with my best friend.
the “friends” on your facebook page that you haven’t ever met, haven’t seen since high school (or college) or otherwise with which you would have little to no -ssociation.
apart from the gross of fbriends listed on my brother’s page, he only had a handful of people that he truly knew. what a loser.
the people who are friends with you on facebook because you went to the same school, or because there is this one mutual friend among you. you wouldn’t usually talk to them much because there aren’t many things you have in common with them that you know of.

in spite of not knowing them very well, they do read your status updates and like things you post, and vice versa.

note: the ‘f’ in the word is silent, and is pr-nounced as ‘briend’.
person 1: “are you invited to the party nathan is throwing? i hear there’s gonna be a lot of people there.”
person 2: “nah man. nathan is just a fbriend, and basically invited me because he invited everyone on his fbriends’ list…”
(the ‘b’ is silent) a person on the popular social networking site that you are connected to by ‘friending’ them.
barrnabus: so are you and tom friends?
mcgarnagle: nah dude, we just be fbriends so i can read his funny memes
brarrnabus: why did you pr-nounce ‘friends’ so strangely?
mcgarnagle: s.t.f.u newb