Final Broath
the final and most immensely binding and important of all broaths. it is usually created in the death throes of one’s bro. it states that after the event of your bro’s death, you must marry his girlfriend, and never have s-x with her or let anyone else do so either. you also become the keeper of all the previous broaths you and he have ever made, it is your sole duty to make sure the dirtiest secrets of your broship never see the light of day. you also are made responsible for making sure that none of his noteworthy high scores are ever beaten, and in the event that they are, you have the authority and the obligation to play the games and beat the usurper’s score on your dead bro’s behalf.
“dude, i’m dying….please….you must take with me……the final broath!”
“sure thing bro -sniffle- i hereby swear to be bound forever to the grand, sacred, archaic and magical power of the final broath! -sob- and should i ever break the terms of this all powerful broath, may my brodom be revoked, may my b-lls shrivel and die, may my c-ck shrink and whither, may all traces of manliness and testosterone leave my body! and upon my undoubtedly solitary and pathetic death, may the abominable specter of bruce jenner himself, the only known breaker of the mighty final broath, personally escort my blighted soul into the darkest and most wrathful recesses of the netherworld!” -lighting strikes in the distance, and the sound of the drums of asgard can faintly be heard-
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