Flaming Impact
who’s ever woke up next to a completely ugly troll but still slightly h-rny? she has that “attached” look in her eyes but you’re not a complete -sshole so you don’t tell her to get the f-ck out of your bed. this is the act you take to get her out. an alternative to coyote ugly, safer but still painful, for parting ways.
step 1: make sure you always have a bottle of “the hot sh-t” (tabasco sauce, frank’s red hot or hotter) next to your bed
step 2: say this: “alright, let me just warm you up.”
step 3: as you move south grab your bottle of “the hot sh-t” and proceed to douse your tongue with it (this is your sacrifice for the greater good)
step 4: lap her p-ssy like a thirsty dog till “the hot sh-t” is off your tongue and in her p-ssy cavity
step 5: get the f-ck out of her way
if performed properly she will run screaming from your room yelling “it’s so hot, it’s so hot, it’s so hot!” directly into your front door knocking herself out from the impact.
step 6: lock your door and go back to sleep
roommate: “what the f-ck is this b-tch doing p-ssed out by the front door?”
you: (yelling from your bed) “oh that b-tch? i gave her the flaming impact and she must still be unconscious. take care of that for me.”
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