forum zombie

a forum zombie, sometimes known as a thread zombie, will torch through every post, whether relevant to the zombie or not, and use the information (no matter how outdated) to rule the zombie’s every waking thought. while this condition is quite severe, there is treatment, but only if it is caught in the early stages. warning signs of progression are as follow: unresponsive gaze while or after reading the forum/thread, not eating/drinking/sleeping, re-responsive gaze and aggressively attempting to brainwash you into believing /b/ memes are funny and original or uses another highly unoriginal meme, lack of intelligent speech and writing/text structure, and finally, becoming a scientologist or vegetable. also, in rare cases, zombies can develop a condition known as activision.

the only known treatment is to bludgeon the zombie with their own computer/pc and/or mobile device that they are using to read the forums/threads with until they snap out of it. sadly all cases treated past the lack of basic necessities resulted in permanent brain damage.

at one point, vin diesel was believed to be a forum zombie, but it turned out he was just a zombie in general.
person 1: i found out my friend was a forum zombie, so i had to beat some sense into him with his own pc.

person 2: a thread zombie………………illuminati confirmed? -hears x-files theme- darude-sandstorm?

person 1: oh my god you’re infected!-person 1 pulls out person 2’s phone and beats the ever living sh-t out of them with it for using an overused meme-