Fresno

5th largest city in california; 1st dumbest & drunkest city in america. colloquially known by locals as “the raisin capital”, fresno is more appropriately known as “where?” by everyone else.

besides it’s raisins, fresno is known for it’s many other products.

fresno’s exports: smart people, liberals, musicians, methamphetamine, pismo beach enthusiasts.

fresno’s imports: dimwits, conservatives, tons of sudafed
“these grapes taste like fresno!”
“we speak american ‘ere in fresno, boy”
“fresno sucks”
not one definition is accurate so far, so as a native, obligated to correct. fresno’s population has increased up to near three quarters million. known for being extremely agriculture and provides the rest of california with nearly all of its grapes, milk, almonds and many other fruits and vegetables.

bad things: the weather hits the extremes. summers are very hot, avgs mid to high 90s-and never a surprise if a day hits 110. winters just the opposites, overnight will below freeze yet no snow. several bad foggy days. most definitely not a place to go to college. fresno state is the only 4 year university, though a new community college has erupted in the nicer area of fresno. the air pollution is extremely bad, research has shown children that grow up in fresno develop their lungs differently than people in other better air quality cities. being in the middle of the valley there are not many extra curricular activities near the city. crime is extremely bad however, especially in certain areas. certain regions of fresno lead the state in h-m-cides, armed robberies, grand theft auto alternatively throughout the years. the gang, the “bulldogs” which take after the city’s college mascot (fresno state bulldogs) are extremely dangerous and dominate crips and bloods in the area–many high schools across the city ban wearing solid red or bulldog mascot shirts. good amount of poverty.

good things- being in the middle of valley seems bad but also has benefits. is less than 2 hours drive to the beach, opposite way less than that to the mtns for sierra summit(skiing/snowboarding). and 30 to 90min to b-ss and hunnington lake a very nice cabin type resort area. millterton lake is extremely accessible, less than 20min drive–skiing, wakeboarding, fishing, camping, tubing. fresno is also the beginning norcal city that starts to have good weed. the more north you go, the better the bud known saying ends in fresno, i now live in socal and cry everytime i smoke(total shwag). also a great place to grow up and raise a family–real estate is much cheaper in fresno in its expanding domain. high schools are some of the best in the state. our schools constantly compete in national t-tles across all sports. fresno, ca high school teams will be in the top 25 rankings across sports every year. relatively low cost of living.

things to know (attractions): the fashion fair mall includes many unique shops and stores as well as all the high cl-ss name brand stores as well. river park–an open typed mall area–extremely nice, a very good amount of money put into it. holds a 21 theatre edwards regal cinema + a 2 screen 3d cinema and many shops and food options. as well as 2 different water parks. ex san francisco 49er tim mcdonald has put much back into his native city including chuckchansi park, an extremely nice youth league sports park, as well as worlds sports cafe, very popular sports bar/dining. fresno has produced stars such as himself, ricky manning jr. (nfl cornerback), david carr (nfl quarterback), kevin federline, jennifer alcorn (female boxer), many others.
fresno- fresyes. the no, nickel nickel nine (559), f-no
good: short drive to many other destinations in the state. summer weather is hot, but usually not unbearable. cheaper real estate than elsewhere in california.

bad: very bad fog after rain. winter is miserably cold, despite not being cold enough to snow more than a few flurries every ten years. rush hour gridlocks on shaw and herndon near the freeways and 41 at 180 (though traffic here certainly beats la’s infamous 405). many rough roads (repairs on 99 are long overdue). not a whole lot to do, either, despite the beautiful new savemart center arena.

ugly: air pollution. many parts of the city south of shaw avenue are not very pretty (especially downtown, effectively just a government center and expansive homeless refuge).
fresno’s downtown, despite efforts by the city council, has never fully recovered from the initial growth northward many decades ago.
fresno is the 8th largest city in the state of california. located in the central san joaquin valley, close to the geographic center of the state, fresno’s population base is rapidly growing.

largely based on agriculture type businesses, fresno is also becoming a popular location for technology based companies, because of it’s centralized location.
fresno is a city located in the state of california, between sacramento and bakersfield.
the most pathetic city in california and possibly in all of america. here are the reasons for that:

1. there are more people who live off welfare in fresno than people with jobs
2. most of the citizens have a big infatuation for the fresno state bulldogs, who have won nearly nothing and thrive at it
3. fresno has the pathetic gang in america called the bulldogs, who took their name from the fresno state bulldogs. all of the gang members are mexicans and have never completed high school.
4. very unexpected temperatures. one day it could rain for 7 straight hours and the next day it would be hot as f-ck.
5. rarely would you see a well educated man/woman here. everyone else either lives poorly making $10,000 a year or live off welfare.
6. most of the students are obsessed with their school. i went to my schools rally a few days ago and i nearly went deaf.

7. bad air pollution. heat waves come by every year where people end up dying.
8. if you like listening to the radio, you should reconsider it when you’re in fresno. the only thing on the radio is pitbull, pitbull, and pitbull. the reason for this is because nearly all of the mexican girls love him.

and so on.
fresno bulldogs fan: we are the best f-ck usc and florida
me: you’re just jealous because you know for a fact that both the trojans and gators would stomp on the bulldogs.
fresno bulldogs fan: f-ck u!!!!! (runs away crying)
a city of almost a half million residents in the central valley of california perhaps best described as a ‘starter community’ for people in small california towns who want a larger city, or people seeking a new life in california at a reasonable price. but dont expect much excitement around here, because life is dull beyond belief. fresno epitomizes cowtowns and relies on agriculture for its economic well being. nor is it a good place to live for young, active adults because there are no jobs, nothing to do, crime is high, pollution problematic, and street gangs everywhere. its only saving grace is the affordable cost of living compared to the rest of ca, but it isnt worth the enormous sense of boredom you get by living here. fresno consistely ranks among the top us cities in violence, unemployment, pollution, car theft, gangs, teen pregnancy, alcoholism, welfare and drug abuse.
it isnt called fresno for nothing.
a total waste of perfectly good farmland
fresno is a good place to leave

←