functional alcoholic


someone who can maintain an orderly, outward social appearance while their personal life has devolved into complete chaos due to over-drinking. their friends and family are often impressed with their achievements, while the alcoholic knows that their drinking has lead to a full-blown loss of control and that it is just a matter of time until their behavior blows up in their face. in a bad way.
emelio’s friends/family: ” emelio is about to graduate med school. we are so proud. we only wish we could accomplish as much”.

emelio: “i am a functional alcoholic. everyone i know thinks i’m doing great but in reality my brain has turned to slush. i can’t believe i bs’d my way through med school and got a 3.8 gp because i don’t remember any of it. i can’t believe i’m almost 30 and have somehow avoided getting a dui thus far. everyone thinks i’m so great, but in reality, i’m totally f-cking dangerous but i just haven’t been caught yet. it’s all catching up with me though. it’s only a matter of time until i do something really stupid and everyone will realize what a f-ck-up i truly am.
a worthless yet admirable person who can drink everynight and still pull good grades in college or act as a normal person in a work environment.
that b-tch drinks every f’n night and made a better grade than me on the test.

or:
i saw that douche torn up last night and today he acts like mr. super employee. wtf?

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