FurryIceCream

one of the things people online first notice about me is my signature username, furryicecream. often i am asked about it, with questions ranging from “furryicecream????” to “thats gross haha, did u find sum in ur fridge” to “are u a furry?” thus, to parallel how many of my distant friendships start, i shall begin by introducing the story of how my alias came about, followed by some personal history. to answer those questions: no, i didn’t come upon any actual rotten dessert (more will be explained later), and no, the name has no connection with perverted animal fantasies.

it was the year 2006, over half a year after guild wars was released. i had already defeated the game, left with nothing to do but hunt mountain dwarves and collect elite skills. then the new patch came where enemy ai was improved to keep the monsters from bunching up under aoe damage; they started running whenever area spells were casted. only with a level 20 ranger, and too low of a morale to begin a new adventure and character, and totally uninterested in the factions expansion, i began playing counterstrike and warcraft 3 with my dorm suitemates.

after many maps and co-op missions in the real-time strategy program (wc3), my college friends and i began an amateur team for custom maps, just randomly schooling any opponents that joined our games. needing desperate amus-m-nt, we decided on some names that could easily be related to the ice trolls map, something that was intimidating, disgusting, and cold. bennett thought of bl–dyicicle, jeff had wintercarc-ss, ben created freezingenema, and i picked c0ld4mputation.

this went on for awhile and we strayed from ice trolls to dota (defense of the ancients; you computer gamers will hear about it soon in compet-tive gaming leagues, it’s growing fast) and abandoned the names.

i wanted a name that made an amusing first impression or impact on a stranger, while keeping creat-tivity and uniqueness (meaning that no one’s thought of it before, and that it hasn’t been created in any way shape or form), i decided on using an oxymoron. “jumboshrimp” was too common, and “microsoftworks” was definitely not unique. after 45 minutes of brainstorming, my eyes finally rested on an empty pint of hagen daaz le dulche (caramel and vanilla, mmm). alright, so i got the creativeness part; there aren’t many names referring to ice cream around, but then the ‘first impression’ part was missing. so my mind wandered on how to make ‘icecream’ different, and that’s when i began thinking about textures of the delicious dairy product. i was thinking of whipped ice cream, smooth ice cream, liquid ice cream…all of those forms existed, and that would ruin the oxymoronic part. i don’t know how my mind wandered onto hair or fur, but finally “furryicecream” was born, 55 minutes after i sat down to think.

what made it an oxymoron was that after much obsessive research, i failed to find anything about spoiled ice cream. neither scientific doc-ments or pictures were found relating to the matter.
dota
pandora’s boxers
guild wars

aren’t you furryicecream?!?
going down on an eskimo chick.
playa 1: so, i took a trip to the north pole last week.

playa 2: d’ya have fun?

playa 1: sure did. got me a furry icecream.