Gamebastard

(noun)

a gamer (one who plays video games), particularly of the prep-b-scent/pre-teen through adult age, who plays video games hours on end. spends any bit of left over free time to play that game. total weekly gameplay is typically around 135 hours (a whole week is 168 hours) but can dramatically decrease during the school year.

signs are: usually gets super p-ssed off if anyone dares to enter his room. resides in a single room for hours and never comes out, except to eat, p–p and pee. absolutely despises bright light (think of the monsters in “i am legend”), except for his computer screen. very anti-social unless with his so called “friends” online. cluttered desk/couch area with dirty/moldy dishes when he didn’t want to eat with his family. is moody all the time from 3-4 hours of sleep every night (unless if he decides to pull multiple all-nighters, expect results to exponentially increase). if there is an opportunity to venture into his room without detection, you will notice a nasty stench followed by a horrid sight of his w, a, s, d and sp-cebar keys on his keyboard are all worn through, revealing tiny plastic mirrors. same for his mouse, there should be signs of nasty food stuck on that g5 with worn down b-ttons. oh, and if he does not have a job (or a life), expect him to constantly demand you to buy monthly subscriptions to blizzard.

-note: not all gameb-st-rds play the same game. some play on xbox, ps3 and pc.
#1
“hey, why is jake always up in his room? i always see a faint, haunting glow in his window.”

“oh, he’s just being a gameb-st-rd. he’ll snap out of it when he grows up.”
___________
#2
“did you see that video of that demon possessed world of warcraft brat with his suck up mom on youtube?”

“yeah, he’s a total gameb-st-rd!”
___________
#3
“i heard your son got in trouble in the computer lab. what exactly did he do wrong?”

“the teachers caught him basting in the corner, he got nailed for using all the internet bandwidth in the school.”