Ghetto-ade
ghetto-ade is a type of “sports” drink.
ghetto-ade is manufactured for and by “athletes” the world over to relieve dehydration from excessive drinking, over-indulgence in salty snacks of the flaming-hot variety and generally masking the un-appetizing microbial-infested munic-p-l cesspool water coursing through rusty iron pipes.
the ghetto-ade recipe varies across different cultures and socio-economic contexts. generally, the formula is one part anything not water and between 5 and 100 parts water. a wide range of flavors can be had, including: orange, lemon wedge, grape jelly, pure cane sugar, mrs. b-tterworth’s, day-old coffee with cream, unidentifiable (red), food coloring, banana cream pie, pocket lint, flat cola beverages, water and of course gatorade.
“man, i’m parched, hook me up with some gatorade.”
“we don’t have any of that.”
“well, mix me up some ghetto-ade, i think there is a drop of sunny d at the bottom of a bottle in the garbage can”
“d-mn, we didn’t pay the water bill…”
1. drink of choice for the darker, more undesirable restaurant guests.
2. a germ infested combination of tap water and a lemon wedge that has normally been sitting sliced at room temperature or warmer and has been touched by no less than three servers and/or bartenders and the opening server who hasn’t showered from his/her night of drunken and drug filled fun.
server: “what can i get you to drink to start with?”
n-gg-r: “brang uh waddah wid some exra lemon.”
server: “i’ll have to charge for the extra lemon, we offer lemonade here, just not ghettoade.”
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