globber

this is the noise made by a live, swamp-
dwelling mattress that is deeply moved by a story of personal
tragedy. the word can also, according to the ultra-complete
maximegalon dictionary of every language ever, mean the noise
made by the lord high sanvalvwag of hollop on discovering that he
has forgotten his wife’s birthday for the second year running.
since there was only ever one lord high sanvalvwag of hollop, and
he never married, the word is only ever used in a negative or
speculative sense, and there is an ever-increasing body of
opinion which holds that the ultra-complete maximegalon
dictionary is not worth the fleet of lorries it takes to cart its
microstored edition around in. strangely enough, the dictionary
omits the word “floopily”, which simply means “in the manner of
something which is floopy”.
the mattress globbered.
one who would be a blogger, but for lack of any useful information or literary talent, fills up your screen pixels with globs of text too painful to read.
clueless: hey did you see what trey posted on his tuesday blog?
enlightened: man, i can’t stomach that globber! he needs to switch to cereal box writing before he puts someone into a coma.
disgusting, viscous fluid such as the saliva that collects around an active mastiff’s mouth, s-m-n, snot, or other similar substances. can also be used as a verb meaning to produce globber or to deposit globber.
fido’s mouth is covered in globber. fido globbers too much. don’t globber on me, fido.
an individual, who as part of a larger group, will occupy the majority of a sidewalk’s width preventing other individuals from p-ssing by. this person is typically moving at a slow pace while engaged in pointless conversation with others who share the same lack of cognizance.
hey, sorry for the delay. the block was lined with globbers and i just couldn’t get around them.
one who globs huge spoonfuls of peanut b-tter into one’s mouth as a snack, a meal, or a brief antidote for life’s anxieties.
is she into cooking?

nah, she’s a globber.
this is the noise made by a live, swamp-
dwelling mattress that is deeply moved by a story of personal tragedy. the word can also, according to the ultra-complete maximegalon dictionary of every language ever, mean the noise made by the lord high sanvalvwag of hollop on discovering that he has forgotten his wife’s birthday for the second year running. since there was only ever one lord high sanvalvwag of hollop, and he never married, the word is only ever used in a negative or speculative sense
“i globber for you.”
a person who leaves toothpaste globs in the bathroom sink, on the bathroom towels and even gets a glob on the shower curtain every once in a while.
i have to wash the bathroom sink frequently because my boyfriend is a globber.

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