golf clap

1. an exaggeratedly quiet clapping intended as a show of sarcastic support or disdain.

c.f. the quiet clapping sound heard on televised golf tournament coverage. due to the distance between the microphone and the crowd, the golf clap sounds like a nearby crowd of people clapping at minimal volume.
1. he dropped his fully-loaded cafeteria tray, breaking all the dishes. naturally, we gave him a golf clap.

2. we cheered sue as she crossed the marathon’s finish line 8 days later with a hearty golf clap.
originally, “golf clap” was used to mean a sarcastic applause, for example the kind of applause that is given when someone drops their food tray in a cafeteria. however, it is increasingly being used to mean a sincere show of appreciation, especially on fark.com.
“that is a great link! golf clap to the person who submitted it.”
golfclap, is the clapping you hear in golfing tournaments. generally people clap because of courtesy, and tradition, so it lacks any real feeling of excitement.
“you clap half-heartedly, clearly unimpressed.”
“ted talked about his achievements with ladies last night.. golfclap.”
a quiet clap appropriate for a golf course. on fark.com, implies a certain level of sarcasm in the applause.
he wanted us to be impressed. i showed him just how impressed i was with the golf clap.
a particularly virulent strain of gonorrhea caused by illicit s-xual intercourse with tiger woods. in the us, known incidences have increased rapidly since november of 2009, although it is not clear exactly how long this disease has run rampant.

golf clap cannot be spread by sharing toilets and bathrooms or by those who have jesse jamesed
“if i have golf clap, can it be transmitted to my unborn, out of wedlock, child?”

“if i am experiencing and outbreak of golf clap, should i avoid s-xual intercourse with men dressed as n-z-‘s?”
enthusiastic, but subdued applause for a job well done.
mom: “i finally learned how to add friends on facebook!”
me: “golf claps for mommy!”
the golf clap is considered the most sophisticated clap of american culture and is normally -ssociated with the upper cl-sses. it is unusual in that it is preformed with a bit of reservation and thoughtful rhythm, unlike other claps which consist of haphazardly flailing obese arms in hopes that the palms occasionally make contact to produce the loudest noise possible.

the golf clap is usually preformed after american high society pastimes such as ruining the global market, sending poorer americans to kill as many brown yuropians as possible, and ingesting near lethal doses of cocaine over brunch.
renowned american stateswoman sarah palin preforms a golf clap after taking out wolf packs and moose herds with missiles from her apache hunting helicopter.

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