Grad School

short for graduate school. a way of putting off entering the real world.
“she went to grad school to delay the inevitable, a real job”
limbo; purgatory; a place where you waste the best years of your life apprenticing for the phd guild.

the bad:
– endless homework
– potentially -sshole professors
– little social life
– boring repet-tive cl-sses
– dull ta work
– sh-t pay
– you might end up in the middle of nowhere
– constant moving m-ssacres relationships. remember the girlfriend who left you because she couldn’t take the long-distance relationship? your friends? the family you see for 2 weeks per year? better forget them… easier that way.
– having to teach obscenely hot 18 year olds without being able to touch them
– leads to frigidity and involuntary abstinence
– it’s 4am. you went to cl-ss between 9 and 12. you ate pretzels for lunch, then you graded for 4 hours. then you wrote homework. now your eyes are bleeding and you have the urge to cut.
– once (if) you graduate, you have to move again, in order go to post-doc, which is the same as grad school except you get a few bucks more and you write fewer pages of homework
– incipient alcoholism

the good:
– incipient alcoholism
– easy ticket to the first world for talented third worlders
– easy ticket to a big city if you luck out
– you can really slack away if you play your cards right
– 3+ months of vacation
– sort of intellectual
– beats the f-cking 9 to 5. you’re making 40k working 40 hours a week with 2 weeks vacation? in grad school people can make ~20k with ~10 hours of work per week and 3 months vacation. you do the math.
i decided to go to grad school… sure, i don’t have a girlfriend… or a car… and my friends from my old city have all but forgotten me… and i write 40 pages of homework per week… and the hot students i teach are driving me insane… and the old professor f-cks are raping me at every opportunity… and i’m on a first name basis with the liquor store owner… but godd-mn, at least i’m not in the 9 to 5! yesterday, wednesday the 12th, i slept until 1pm and then i watched 3 movies, played games for 4 hours, and drank 14 beers. tomorrow, on friday, i’ll do the same. in a month it’ll be summer again and i’ll fly home to see my friends and get a nice tan… i used to think about graduation, but that was 2 years ago.
yeah…
noun.

short for: graduate school

a place your social life goes to die and your wallet goes for a long term crash diet.

a place any remaining sanity left after undergraduate school, and any duration of living in the real world post-undergrad, is officially taken away.
“i owe over $150,000 dollars in student loans from grad school and all i got was this stupid underpaid job.”
a place for people that can’t handle the real world
without a report card, i’d have a nervous f-cking breakdown!! — collegehumor

my dad made the bad mistake of going to grad school. now he only knows about theory but has no life skills.