Granola Poser
often a college student or young adult, marked by an excessive att-tude and attire of the rugged outdoors. the said poser is usually accompanied by generic granolaeske traits, always flaunted in public areas. although the granola poser does usually enjoys outdoor activities such as hiking, fishing, camping, canoeing, etc., the granola’s desire for others to see his outdoorsyness far outweighs his actual interest.
these traits include, but are not limited to: an obsession in certain intramural sports; an all natural diet; flaunting intense camping gear such as ropes or carabiners; unnecessarily wearing outdoor gear made for extreme weather (north face, rei, mountain hardwear); an obsession with chacos and wearing them for activities they were not designed for; an uncontrollable love for ultimate frisbee; the desire to hammock in populated areas; the drinking out of nalgene bottles; mountain-men beards; a taste in music that the normal population (including the granola poser himself) would naturally find unattractive; hippi-eske attire such as bandanas and shoelessness.
these activities, and many more that remain unlisted, are stressed by granolas so that onlookers might look at them with a jealous and slightly impressed eye.
jim: “hannah, why are you wearing an all natural fleece columbia jacket? it’s 80 degrees outside. a why is your nalgene bottle and chaco’s attached to your backpack with a carabiner?
hannah: “shut up jim. i am wild. i am adventurous. i am free.”
jim: “this is psychology cl-ss. you’re a granola poser”
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