grocery stalking


a play on words of the term “grocery shopping”. grocery stalking occurs when you are at your local market and spot a good-looking guy/girl. you might be interested in this person, so you sneakily follow them around the store to scope out what items they’re buying and learn more about them. as opposed to traditional stalking, grocery stalking rarely continues outside the market, unless contact is made and/or phone numbers are exchanged.

grocery stalking is the perfect pickup, because you can easily pretend to be interested in a product they are purchasing and strike up a conversation about it, and you instantly have something in common. this generally happens in the produce section around unusual/exotic fruits and vegetables.

by carefully inspecting the items in their cart, you can quickly learn much more about a person than you ever could at a singles bar– such as whether this person is a vegetarian or has children.
susy– “oh, look, check out that hottie! let’s go grocery stalking.”

lucy– “why? we need to hurry up.”

susy–“just gimme a sec to see what he’s buying, i might be interested.”

-subtely checks out hottie’s cart-

susy–“duct tape, lighter fluid, and trash bags. we better get outta here!”

lucy–“i guess it is better to look before you leap.”

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