Grubberface


an individual with a mixed sense of self importance and/or a deeply shallow social life who harms others by wasting their time on facebook with worthless, cute, wasteful, or cheesy copy-and-pasted motivational posts (that they don’t even adhere to).

the grubberface craves the positive attention they believe they are getting, which inflates self-worth. however, in reality, the majority who see and read a grubberface’s posts in fact actually hold the grubberface in much lower regard – at times, feeling purely sorry for them – because the grubberface’s grubs are actually making it increasingly difficult for them to be datable, hirable, or even likeable.

most likely, a grubberface is someone who is already recognized by friends outside of facebook as someone having social difficulties, not dated nor had s-x in several years, and has gained at least 20 pounds in the last year. thus, the facebook friends enable the grubberface’s behavior by not confronting them on their online habits. the kindest intervention is scissors to the keyboard cord, battery removal from the mouse, and “misplacing” their mobile device.
my friend carli just posted this on facebook: “in the mood for swedish fish.” what a grubberface. no one, anywhere, on planet earth cares.

john is a grubberface. he just posted: “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade…”

“about to eat a burger.”

“boy, vacuuming sucks”.

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