gym penguin

1. a gym penguin is a subspecies of gym rat. the gym penguin does lots of dead lifts, bench presses and leg presses at the gym, but does nothing else because he thinks cardio and flexibility training are “f-ggotry.” as a result of his training imbalances, his neck disappears and he cannot extend his legs normally or walk fully lower his arms. instead he must waddle along bowlegged with his arms sticking out, but only for short distances as he is quickly winded.
gym penguins also tend to evolve loose guts from over-reliance on weight lifting belts, so beware their incontinence.
they tend to huddle with others of their kind and communicate via a strange gasping quacks as most are mouth breathers.

2. the term gym penguin can also be appropriately applied to any 20 year old who cannot touch his toes
3. female gym penguins while exceedingly rare can be easily identified by their shortened necks
1. “d-mn bryce, you need to do some yoga or something, or you will turn into a straight up gym penguin”
2. woman 1: “sh-t keri, i thought you said chad was cute!”

woman 2: “yeah, he was, but now he’s f-cked—like where’s his neck?!—i’m not trying to f-ck no penguin!”
3. man 1 : “dude check out my pecs i rule! i own you!”

man 2 : “yeah, jared, now let me see you pick up that pencil—you can’t can you, you d-mn penguin!”
4. woman 1: wow, i thought kristy was really gonna get in shape but she’s doing it wrong now she just looks f-cked up

woman 2: “it’s scary, she has, like, no neck!

women 1: “yeah, gross! let’s ask her what’s she’s doing so we can stay the h-ll away from it! i wanna get cut, but i don’t wanna penguin out”

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