Halt! Identify!

what androids say to intruders. this allows them to determine whether or not the intruder is an android himself, as android-non android relations is frowned upon in the commonwealth. upon detection of a non-android body within the range of his visual scanners, an android may sound the alarm, whereupon the intruder will be instantly vaporized by alarm-response androids. as such, it is recommended that if a non-android wishes to “learn the ways” of the android, that he or she must follow the following directions:

step 1: crouch outside of the range of the android’s visual scanner.

step 2: sidle up to the android in question, being sure not to look it in the eye.

step 3: if the android does not detect an intruder, commence learning the ways of the android.

note: this works best in close proximity to the commonwealth public-use industrial capacitive reactive surface #36, colloquially known as the “boss door.”
android #1 is minding his own business, guarding a resting mobile grinder.

intruder: “why h-llo there android #1! might you direct me to the nearest boss door, or perhaps to a checkpoint?”

android #1: “halt! identify!”

intruder: “oh dear, i must have offended his delicate sensibilities. time to block and release.”