HammOGram
a hammogram is the s-xiest jon hamm-related valentine’s day gift on the planet earth. a friend and/or lover will send another friend/lover a hamm-o-gram, which is a mailed envelope. inside this envelope is a handsome picture of jon hamm and a love note, both of which have been dipped in aftershave and glitter. effects of a hamm-o-gram include extreme horniness and mad men marathons.
dwight sent me a hammogram for valentine’s day, even though he knows i’ll know be thinking of jon hamm whenever we do it.
an uncomfortable medical procedure performed by using a small, hairless rodent. for men, a hammogram is completed by sending hampsters with little forehead lights deep into the r-ct-m to search for prostate and/or colon cancer. for women, a hammogram is used to test for precancerous cells in the breast tissue. the hamsters used in this procedure generally come with one dollar bills, expensive cuban cigars and single malt whiskey.
hawkins: i’m never going to a proctologist; that’s just scary.
jen: i’ve heard they aren’t that bad. nathan had a hammogram last week, and he only cr-pped fur for two days!
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