an abomontaion of nature, one parent being a hampster one being a disturbed human with a furry rodent fetish and another parent being satan himself.
forever tormented by his heritage, illigitamacy as human or beast, ugly-beyond-belief appearance that makes babys cry, woman scream and men suck thier thumbs from kilometers away.
doomed to be hated by all living and non-living things the hampster man has taken the form of a terribly illiterate and dumb-ssed teacher at a below average sh-t hole school in brisbane, australia.
the hampster man can be identified as a r-t-rded looking creature, he is short, stumpy and balding due to the stress of his sin-against-nature life he has chewed off all of his fur except for the small amount ontop of his head.
the hampster man is known for unexplainable fits of furry and anger where he will yell for little or no reason endlessly. these are reffered to as hampsterman-splosions.

the hampsterman song:
who can take a sunrise away
sprinkle it in poo
cover it in gay
and a satanic ritual or two?

the hampsterman
the hampsterman can
the hampsterman can cause he mixes it with hate and makes the world a horrifying place

who can take a schoolday
wrap it in a death wish
soak it in the blood of babies
and make a terrifyingly sh-t history lesson?

children(in fear): the hampsterman?

the hampsterman
the hampsterman can
the hampsterman can cause he mixes it with hate and makes the world a horrifying place

the hampsterman makes
everything he does
horrifying and disgusting
talk about your childhood wishes
forget those, your hampsterman’s b-tches

who can take tomorrow
douse it in kerosean
quadruple the sorrow
and cover you face in his “cream”?

the hampsterman
children(crying in terror):the hampsterman can

tom: the hampsterman can cause he mixes it with hate
and makes the world a horrifying place
and the world is a horrifying place cause the hampster man thinks it should
“f-ck you hampsterman you suck.”

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