hands free

slang. someone who is a ‘mental’ and subsequently talks to themselves.

derived from people that speak on hands free and look like they are talking to themselves (as there is no one visibly present) but are in fact having a phone conversation.

the ‘mentals’ on the other hand, have the exact same conversation… but they ain’t plugged in to no one!
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man that penelope is hands free. i was on the bus the other day and she was there chewing her hand and talking to herself.

poor old billy ever since he caught his mum engaged in bukkake with the local football team and his dad then committed suicide and his pet dog got run over and his house got burnt down and he lost his arm in a chainsaw accident, has gone a bit handsfree. man, i swear down, i saw him in the street the other day, shouting at himself.
5 more definitions
the act of going on a night out without a handbag, and your gear rammed in pockets to enable easy dancing-

-hands-free works better if there is a bloke with deep pockets nearby.
\’han(d)z-ˈfrē\ (verb)
the act of using any body part other than the hands to m-st-rb-t-.
i got pulled over for driving erratically, but i was totally hands-free!
type of mobi use in the car
am just on me handsfree at the mo mate
1. (noun) a person who engages you in s-xual activity whilst your mind is elsewhere. derived from ‘handless w-nking’ in which the dirty state of mid-p-b-scent teenager temporarily returns as you are s-xually gratified whilst thinking about another girl.

2. (verb) any act of lone s-xual gratification which simulates real s-x by refraining from the use of hands.
1. “i don’t stand a chance with that hot chick by the bar but i’m not going home empty handed. maybe that ugly girl in the corner will be my handsfree while i close my eyes and think of jenna jameson.”

2. “man it’s my 40th birthday and i’m still a virgin… i’m guna go home and put my d-ck in the hoover. i’ve been handsfreeing for 20 years”
the incredible ability to m-st-rb-t- without any contact with one’s genitals. a skill the male j-panese business cl-ss has cultivated for decades.