Heaphy

old black irish: anglicized form of gaelic ó héamhthaigh ‘descendant of éamhthach’ and male descendant of the follower of the last king also an adjective meaning ‘lucky and beautiful. traditionally, irish family names are taken from the heads of tribes, and are usually prefixed by o’, as above, or mac, denoting “son of”. it seems very likely that the original holder of this surname was a descendant of the original king, but no strictly direct descendant. in the census of ireland in 1659 the clan was recorded as ruling ” the county waterford”. however if this was true then, it is certainly not so now, all surviving church register recordings being princ-p-lly in the counties of kerry and cork. this suggests that the clan may have come to some grief, perhaps as supporters and relatives of king james of ireland in 1690, and being dispossessed of their properties, and forced to flee west.
“heaphy” one of the oldest irish clans who’s surname is widely know within ireland as old n-bility.
a large piece of faecal matter. often the effect of a long toilet session. a heaphy often gives off the initial impression of being a one-wipe-wonder…but infact turns out to be a t-tanic, time-consuming painful ordeal.

in 1978, three men died from a heaphy….doctors said that due to a combination of ruptured sphincter muscles and the loss of the will to live they topped themselves, knowing that life would never be the same

in more recent usages, the word heaphy is made when actually doing a poo.
1) i just went and had a heaphy…it was f-cking terrible.

2) i thought i was about to have my first born, but it turned out to be a heaphy.

3) (while pooing). “heeeeeeaaaaaaappppphhhhhyyyyyyyyy”