Help Desk

a group of people in a department that have to deal with all the it problems within an company or organzation. these problems are dealing with dumb -sses users 99% of the time.
the helpdesk is the first and last people you deal with from the it department.
humm… it says press any key, i don’t see the any key.
i think we need to call the helpdesk. then the helpdesk employee shoots himself.
the infested r-ct-m of a dead camel, where legions of undying techs are forced to provide support to the brainless m-sses. there only reprive being the mute b-tton and the occasional ‘actual’ r-t-rd calling up providing entertainment
helpdesk = h-ll = infested r-ct-m of a dead camel
we fix the things all the stupid fools with computers break
i don’t understand how to operate my computer yet want it to do things that are impossible with the software i’m using. i know! i’ll call the helpdesk and make them do it for me!
a place where the nhs keeps me.
like a monkey doing tricks with remote support for the brainless m-sses.
me (helpdesk operator): ‘ok remote support is now starting’
brainless corporate stooge: oooooh it moves on its own
me: -smashing blunt intrument on face sounds-
a place where tortured people speak to incompetent fools, swearing at them after pressing the “mute” b-tton.
type “smtp” like “sam michael tom peter”

smpt?
a place where teams of people gloss over the glaring inadequacies (mis-spelt) of the company they work for and get paid for it.
i wish to sell my bottom! – what better place than on the helpdesk. f-ck my corporate -ss.
this “desk” is probably a phone number. no one bothered to change it to “help number”.

anyway, the “desk” is india and someone in india is eating chinese food (do they eat chinese food in india?) at 2 am with a headset on their lap talking to dumb and/or frustrated americans. he’s thinking “surely you learned to activate your pd flag for application recognition right after you learned to tie your shoes.” but he doesn’t say that, he’s very polite. the highlight of working at the help desk is getting to remotely access some american’s computer. maybe they have embarr-ssing pictures, the latest hollywood movies, or top-secret military doc-ments up on their screen.
“h-llo. you have reach the it help desk. to hear the system status, please press 1. to talk to a customer support -n-lyst, please press 2. if you would like to chit-chat about the latest computer games or other nerdy technical topics, please press the secret p-sscode. if you do not know the secret p-sscode, please wait on the line. the secret p-sscode is 4-5-3-5-1-0-0.”