Hershenstraus


one who sports one of the most extravagant camel toes in all of germany. most known for m-ss production of sour kraut, the hershenstraus is quite the critic. after her weekly dosage of camel toe plucking, she resumes har-ssing the helpless victims with her repugnant medusa glare. the hershenstraus feeds on nothing but the despair she draws out of children. especially those of african descent. when the hershenstraus is through feasting on the trepidation of her victims her arid, beastly camel toe devours the remains of the adolescent. the only hero who can defeat this terrible creature is none other than the might ms. plush. the power of ms. plush’s “booty call” sends the hershenstraus back to hades.
hershenstraus: as you see in j-pan, as long as you are an heir to the throne, you can be any age to rule a kingdom. even you brian! except. you cannot wear that shirt.

brian: what?

hershenstraus: i said, if your going to rule a kingdom, you can not wear a shirt like that. (plucks on her grotesque camel toe)

the fear inside brian is gleaming through his eyes, the hershenstraus has spotted his despair and she grins, flaunting the six yellow/brown teeth that she possesses. soon enough, brian is totally unconscious. as the hershenstraus nears the boy, slimy, green tentacles extend out of her camel toe and feast on the boy’s head.

example 2:

hershenstraus: brandon! oh, brandon. are you an only child?

brandon: umm… no? why do you ask?

hershenstraus: because you act like one. always asking for attention.

brandon: yeah, well… are you a widow? because you sure do act like one. old, bitter and the insufficient need to get laid.

hershenstraus: what!!!

slimy, green snakes ascend from the skull of the hershenstraus. its liver spots expand exponentially until they explode in a gooey flow of off-white pus. its eyes turn beet-red and her camel toe forms a deep, black-hole abyss. papers fly everywhere, the ground is shaking, and the children are screaming. the hershenstraus lifts brandon from his chair and devours his entire body. then, razor sharp claws extend from her finger tips, and rips every child in the room to shreds. she then transforms back into her disgusting human disguise, and exits the room that is full of gore and intestines. as she descends down the staircase, she slips and devours the security guard nearest the staircase as well as his partners.

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