high school girlfriend
a disease that afflicts college freshman, mostly straight men. its counterpart, high school boyfriend, is not as common. in a typical case, the hsg-sufferer is devoted to what he believes is the love of his life, a high school junior or senior in his hometown (several hundred/thousand miles away). he’d rather stay in his dorm room skyping with her than meet any new friends, and when she comes to visit, his roommate can expect to be s-xiled for whole weekends at a time.
this will go on (and on, and on) until their relationship explodes–hopefully at thanksgiving during the turkey drop, but it can take until soph-m-re year in extreme cases.
tom: did you ask your roommate if he wanted to go to that party tonight?
dan: no, i give up. he’s got the worst case of high school girlfriend i’ve ever seen.
–
lisa: hey, dan’s roommate’s pretty cute. why doesn’t he ever want to hang out?
emily: high school girlfriend strikes again.
lisa: oh, no! when will they find a cure?
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