hisham moment
a hisham moment – often abbreviated to hm – is best described as a divinely blissful feeling, achieved when a confluence of factors come together in a surprising and unintended manner to create enlightened ecstasy. its origins date back to hisham ii, the third ummayyad caliph of spain. originally the caliph in 976, he was held hostage in 1009 and lost the throne. his hisham moment came when against all odds, he was reinstated as caliph by slavic troops of the caliphate in 1010.
notable examples of hisham moments includes fathers on the maury povich show when they are told you are not the father following a paternity test.
note: hisham moments are not to be confused with miracles, which actually require godly intervention
having been with his vegan wife for 4 years, hisham had all but given up on trying to convince her to partake in the joys of eating meat and all its derivatives. mother nature however had other plans for our newlyweds, and upon reaching the second trimester of her pregnancy, kinza began to feel urges and cravings towards meat. she eventually succ-mbed to her desires and instructed hisham that she wanted a burger. he chuckled, believing it to be a wind-up. so she grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and screamed “does it look like i’m joking?” it was then that it finally dawned on him what those words meant. something he never dared dream of, even in his wildest imaginations. he gulped. then gulped again. then a smile appeared on his face, as his lips began to quiver and his eyes began to water, and he nodded. he nodded in approval like no man has ever nodded before. for he was basking in the hisham moment and savouring every second of it – the moment his wife finally joined him in enjoying a burger.
francis: i saw janine sneak into your room last night you cheeky b-st-rd, go on then, spill the beans
jamal: haha yea, she always gets frisky after badminton. i happened to be standing there as soon as she finished her set
francis: well? how was she? surprise s-x is the best s-x
jamal: it was definitely unexpected, but not a hisham moment by any stretch of the imagination. she just lay there like a possum while i did all the work
francis: ouch. well every hole’s a goal mate
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