hokie

1. a virginia tech fan
2. a fighting globber
3. anyone who hates uva
hokie fans love to hate uva
a word made up in a cheer at virginia tech that as now become a word to describe a) a member of the university and sports team b) a fan of the university c) the gobbler, or mascot of virginia tech. in a sense a hokie has no definition, yet that hasn’t stopped anyone from using the word
uva guy: the hokies suck!

tech guy: and the cavaliers swallow!
courtesy of tailgatefever:
the hokiebird is an -ss-kicking chicken. actually he’s a turkey, but that’s not the point. the university would have you believe that “hokie” is a word made up in 1896 by o. m. stull in a winning entry in the school’s contest for a new cheer. a closer look at the historical record reveals the startling truth that this is a poorly concocted lie created to hide a much larger conspiracy from the student body. university records reveal that in 1896, senior cadet o. m. stull reported what would be the first of numerous sightings of a giant cartoonish bird in the mountains of southwest virginia. stull’s commanding officer in the corps of cadets dismissed the report as “hokey” (a fashionable term at the turn of the century), and the giant bird soon became known as the hokiebird. like his friends bigfoot and the loch ness monster, the hokiebird is simultaneously feared and adored by most humans. the sightings all report him to be a bird of great strength, great looks, and great intelligence. he has written extensively on chaos theory, nanotechnology, and the worthlessness of the designated hitter rule. he leaps tall buildings in a single bound, benches 405 pounds (77 reps against akron), and has dated jennifer lopez, sienna miller, and jessica simpson. he has won three n-bel peace prizes, two congressional medals of honor, and a partridge in a pear tree. he is part mascot, part super hero, and he will kick your -ss.
wahoo: hahah, your mascot is a castrated turkey.
hokie: … for going to such a smart school, you’re an idiot.
a true va tech fan.
one who outsmarts, outplays, outwhits, outscores, outlives, outdoes, and basically beats the h-ll out of the university of viginia wahoos.
a hokie wouldn’t use they’re when he means their in his definition like “letsgohoos” would. and that’s why he’s a wafreakinhoo.
a castrated turkey
the mascot of virginia tech is the hokie
despite all the made-up definitions here, “hokie” is a real word. “hokie” was originally coined by american turkey farmers in the 1930’s.

like all animals and including humans, turkeys consist of diverse populations of individuals with varying degrees of intelligence, physical coordination, colors, etc.

the farmers noticed that about 2-3% of their turkey population consisted of members who were roughly 20% smaller than most other turkeys and these same turkeys frequently had physically deformations and less attractive feather color patterns. surprisingly, these same turkeys were known to suffer mental r-t-rdation and would frequently get themselves killed at young ages by engaging in such activities as drowning themselves in puddles of water or by repeatedly slamming their heads into the ground. and more shocking and rare in the animal kingdom, these same turkeys frequently attempted h-m-s-xual activities with other turkeys. when these turkeys were slaughtered and cooked for human consumption, it was noticed that their meat was exceptionally bitter in taste and grainy in texture, thus making them very undesirable in the poultry industry.

these turkeys were called “hokies”.

from the history of the word and understanding the virgina tech student population, it should be clear why the school adopted the hokie as its mascot.
turkey farmer: “i discovered two more of our birds were hokies so i saved us the trouble and killed them.”

virginia tech student: “i be iz in kollege and be learnding for ma edumacation. go hokies!”
hokie means family. hokies love, support, and care for each-other; like a family.
“today, we are all hokies”

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