House Goon

someone who has only started listening to house music recently in their life, and now is all of a suddenly obsessed with it. they refer to this music as ‘new’, even though it’s been around for years. essentially tools.

house music and ‘electronic dance music’ (edm) has now become their entire existence, taking over all of their social media feeds. they are continuously going to every and any edm concert in town, even if it’s the same artist over and over again. it’s all they care about, and they act as if it’s all they’ve ever cared about.

frequently, they wrongly -ssociate house music with all other types of electronic music, referring to house, electro, techno and dubstep interchangeably.

house goons are almost always caucasian males or females, ages 18-25, at colleges in the united states. they are also easy to spot, as they often wear neon bandanas and other neon articles of clothing.

they can previously be seen getting high to acts such as wiz khalifa.

however now, they refer an obnoxious amount to their new friend molly, and listen almost exclusively to 5 artists: avicii/deadmau5/swedish house mafia/skrillex/rusko. to them, any other artist is merely someone that sounds like one of these five.

house goons are another denomination of tools/bros/hipsters/followers and while should not be avoided at all costs, should certainly be disregarded.
example 1: house goon: dude me and my friend molly were raging at this sick dubstep show last night. melted my face off.
regular person: oh really who was it?
house goon: swedish house mafia
regular person: ………..

example 2: my friend used to be a weed-smoking, beer-drinking frat bro that loved rap music and wiz khalifa, but now he just rolls face and listens to levels. he’s such a house goon.