Illinois

a state that feels more like a large city surrounded by farmland. most people who live in this state feel that it is divided into two areas–chicago and downstate. although the official state capital is springfield, just about everything gets done in chicago. in fact, some out-of-staters actually believe that the capital of illinois is chicago. because of this, and many other things, most “downstaters” resent everything and everyone from chicago.
visitor: where are you from?
illinois guy: i’m from peoria, illinois.
visitor: where’s that? near chicago?
illinois guy: no, it’s about 50 miles west of bloomington.
visitor: where’s bloomington?
illinois guy: oh, forget it. it’s near chicago.
a great midwestern state that represents the north, the south, and the midwest all in one. this is because the length of illinois runs up and down for over 300 miles: the northernmost area being along the wisconsin border, and the southernmost area being at the confluence of the mississippi river and ohio river, located at the small town of cairo (pr-nounced kay-row).

the state of illinois consists of flat plains, cultivated farmlands, rich river valleys, a few forests, and well laid-out urban cities. the largest of these cities is the major metropolis of chicago with its m-ssive skyline and high population of just under 3 million people. its metropolitan, surrounding-area population amounts to an even larger 7 million people.
the second largest city is aurora, then rockford. springfield and peoria are practically equal in size, with a population of around 113,000 each. this is an awesome state that everyone should visit.
illinois is one of the largest corn-growing states in the union. it also manufactures a lot of farm machinery, machine tools, processed foods, construction supplies, etc. the state has a very strong industry, and an even greater commercial strength because of chicago. here are the headquarters of many companies; tons of banks, insurance companies, industrial corporation headquarters, etc. there is also an incredible cultural standing with its numerous museums, fashion and apparel production, arcades, multi-ethnic restaurants, and more.
the best state in the union. from the bluffs and hill country in the south to the m-ssive chicago metropolis to the north, the beaches on lake michigan to the east, and the river valleys to the west, illinois has got it all.
illinois rocks like no other!
a midwestern state where you could see a porshe and a john deere tractor on the same country road on your way to eat a pony shoe (or if you’re hungry, a horse shoe) with your neighbors who happen to be a farmer, a stock broker, a doctor, and a hippie (i.e., very diverse). illinoisians are infatuated with the outdoors, as shown by the mult-tude of state parks throughout the state. although there sometimes tends to be tension between the chicagoans and downstaters, both unite together in their loyalty and pride in illinois.
notable cities (from south to north): decatur, charleston-mattoon, springfield, danville, urbana-champaign, bloomington, peoria, rockford, rock island-moline, chicago and suburbs.
1. the land of lincoln
2.obamanation (f-ck you hawaii)
3.the sp-ce inbetween chicago and st. louis and the eventual battleground in the war between cubs fans and cards fans.
4. home of the most corrupt politicians in the world.
chicago just needs to severe from illinois and become its own state, most downstaters treat it like one anyways.
the proper name of a very nice state, which is usually mis-pr-nounced as “ill-in-noise.” it’s actuall pr-nunciation is “ill-in-oy.” people who mispr-nounce it in the presence of someone from that great state are usually in for a verbal and/or physical smack-down.
(1)bob – “so, i hear you’re from ill-in-noise, right?”

gunny- “no, you c-m-guzzling sp-nk-dumpster, i’m from ill-in-oy. what cr-ptastic f-cktard state are you from? confusion?”

(2) “people from illinois today launched a nationwide day of protest angainst cheesheads and other f-cktards that commonly mis-pr-nounce the name of their great state.”
a state in the mid-west. there are a lot of misconceptions about illinois. first, chicago is not the capital, springfield is. second, illinois is pr-nounced ill – uh – noy, not ill – uh – noise. third, illinois is more than chicago and a bunch of farms. there are a bunch of cities in illinois like peoria, bloomington, and springfield. fourth, a lot of people think peoria is a sh-t hole. well, i live there and honestly, i have to agree. every day somebody gets shot or stabbed in peoria.

illinois is a great place to be. except if you live in peoria like me, then it sucks.

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