i’m never drinking again

a lie we tell ourselves after drinking too much and suffering through a hangover in the futile hope that one will never again suffer the hangover. it is also an indication that events proceeding the hangover consisted of many things awesome that came from what sober people would consider a bad idea. in all cases this statement is a lie, as the person will undoubtedly drink again.
guy 1: i’m never drinking again

guy 2: shut up, you’ll feel better after you eat breakfast.

guy 1: okay, what’s for breakfast?

guy 2: eggo waffles and beer, we ran out of syrup so here’s some more beer.

guy 1: …f-ck
a commonly used phrase by people who drink and wake up the next morning with a hangover and a feeling of regret from all the stupid things you said/did the night before.
bob: dude i drank waaay too much and now i’ve got a headache and i made a total -ss out of myself last night
dan: no sh-t dude, i’m never drinking again

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