Inspector Google

an official t-tle that is appointed to one, after repet-tive use of google is utilised in order to function in everyday life. what sets aside a regular run-off-the-mill google-addict and an ”inspector”, is the investigative qualities of this individual, particularly in relation to detecting private details of another’s life via this platform. the behaviour can be observed:

i. during daily conversation; in order to make dialect flow the constant referral to google must be performed. this is usually accessed via a smart phone on hand. it not only defines unknown words but also adds complimentary audio and/or visual effect to the conversation.
ii. when avoiding the time-consuming enquiry of a book or another person to seek meaning; ain’t no ‘body got time fo’ dat
iii. when embarr-ssed during conversation because one does not know the meaning of a word or term, google is seen to relieve this by quick, on-the-go referral. e.g. pretending to view an sms.
iv. most importantly, when the user must make an enquiry into another’s life for a range of purposes. this can include, but not limited to; dodgy colleagues, boy/girlfriends or in-laws or anyone dodgy for that matter. stalking purposes. to discover photos of the person that may appear in google images, particularly bad photos. to gain clarity on this person’s achievements, hobbies/interests, work history and anything else you can dish up really.
bob: “hey betty-sue, have you seen how shady the new guy looks whose workin’ the register now?”

betty-sue: “sure have bob, but what can we do?!”

bob: “there’s only one thing we can do, we’ve been left with no options here. i’m gonna motherflippin’ google the cr-p outta that, till i get to the bottom of this”

betty-sue: “oh bob, can i call you inspector google? you’re so sp-nky”