International Baccalaureate

a fancy euphemism for h-ll.
because of the international baccalaureate program, i am constantly stressed out, am missing out on the “best years of my life”, and rarely have a weekend to have fun with friends due to the insane amounts of homework -ssigned. i also feel that it’s all for naught.
a hardcore program that leads its students into a downward spiral of depression, drugs, s-x, and prositution.

international baccalaureate student 1:ib is making me slip into depression.
ib student 1: extrmely slowly
ib student 1:i bet by senior year im gonna be on drugs.
ib student 2:lol
ib student 2:awh
ib student 2: its okay
ib student 3: lol awh billy
ib student 1: im gonna run to ms.dubya’s office tomorrow and like collapse on her floor and beg for mercy
a (usually) 2 year diploma programme of education infinately better and better established than a levels.
consists of 6 chosen topics from groups, along with the compulsory 150+ hours of cas (creativity, action, service), 4000 word extended essay and a theory of knowledge essay and presentation.

each topic is marked from 1 – 7, with an extra 3 points being added for performance in cas, tok and ee, with a total of 45 points achievable.

considered h-llish and extremely difficult for some, others (myself included) really appreciate it. it challenges you, and can either encourage you to become really organised or really lazy. may lead to extensive procrastination (world of warcraft in extreme cases) and lack of a social life. or alcohol abuse, depending on how you cope with stress.

good points are that it is an internationally recognised qualification, and is equivalent to up to 7 ‘a’ grades at a level, and some higher level subjects (sciences and maths for example) are considered so advanced, that certain university’s view them as almost degree level.
another good point is that it can give you the opportunity to meet people from all over the world (especially at international schools) and can definately broaden your horizons. and it teaches you bullsh-t oh so effectively.

lying becomes a way of life, sleeping becomes a luxury, relentless and pro plus become your g-ds, and eating just isn’t necessary.
usual conversation between a normal kid and an international baccalaureate student (over msn of course..)

kid: hey fancy going out tonight?
ib kid: i dont know, i still have 3999 words to write for my ee, i haven’t even started my tok presentation, i need to make up 139 hours of cas, i’ve lost my gdc so i cant do this chi squared table for biology, i haven’t eaten in 3 days, i can’t remember the last time i slept and i have my russian oral tomorrow..
kid: that was your excuse last week, what have you been doing??
ib kid: i made a new rogue on a pvp server and pwnd some n00bs.
ib, a high school program, will force teens into a downward spiral of depression, un-protected s-x, violence and narcotics use; only 2% will survive to reach the and age of 25. this makes the ib student – the ‘ibus studentus’ – one of the most rare species on earth, some even completely denying its existence along with big foot and the lochness monster.
bob: what the h-ll happened to alex. i meet him the other day and he was saying something about “cas”, before -ssaulting me, for drug money…
phil: the international baccalaureate happened to alex. may g-d be mercy full…
where getting a 3.9 (weighted) gpa gives you five times more preparation for college than that b-st-rd who dropped out of ib and has a 4.7 (weighted).

also where over 65-70% of students who start out as pre-ib in freshman year either drop out or fail out by end of senior year.

the best part about it is that everybody in ib agrees with the above two statement. (note that this does not include the arrogant pre-ib smart -sses who think ib is gonna be easy due to their ten times easier course loads)

i’ll take an ib student with 3.9 gpa any day over a f-cking idiot from honors/ap with 4.7 who thinks his grades are so high when in reality it’s inflated to stinkin’ heaven.
non-ib idiot: hey, i have a 4.5 gpa so far going into my junior year. i hear you’re in international baccalaureate?

ib student: yes, i’m going into my junior year with 4.1.

non-ib idiot: haha you suck!

ib student: so why don’t you join ib your junior year? it’s not too late.

non-ib idiot: okay, then, lol, it can’t be that hard. bring it on!

ib student: -evil smile-

ib-screwed-over idiot: f-ck! i got 3 c’s, 2 a’s, and 2 b’s my junior year! how is this possible!? i worked three times harder than my previous two years!

ib student: oh, well, too bad. i made it out with 5 a’s and 2 b’s. oh, wait, colleges look at your junior grades the most….
the small cult-like group of students who are involved in the international baccalaureate program. laugh at the bags under their eyes and insane amount of homework now, but your sorry -ss will be working for one of these guys in the near future. the near future for an ib kid is not so near, though. having several hours worth of homework doesn’t exactly make the time fly. because of this, they have extensive knowledge about useless topics, for example :hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words. if you are currently an ib student, you would laugh at the irony of such a fact. then youd quickly realize how this program made you lose your marbles. but you probably never had any if you willingly signed up for ib in the first place.
the international baccalaureate kids would kill themselves, but they just dont have the time.
a secondary school program seeking to create well-rounded and socially concious graduates. the middle years program (myp) precedes the diploma program (dp), with myp encomp-ssing the first two years of high school and dp consisting of the last two. ib boasts rigorous cl-sses, community service requirements (cas), a required 4000 word essay, a theory of knowledge (tok) cl-ss, and exit exams which determine whether or not a student earns their ib diploma. most students maintain a love/hate relationship with the program, both realizing that they are getting a great education and hating the immense workload and high stress environment. the students are somewhat isolated within the school, leading to the development of a unique culture. stress or work levels are often used as bragging materials, with the most overworked or stressed individual recieving admiration from their peers. there is no mold that all ib students fit, but overachievers are the most common. however, all share the belief that advanced placement (ap) cl-sses are for slackers or those who are less intelligent.
guy 1: are you going to the club tonight?
guy 2: i’m in international baccalaureate man! i don’t have that kind of time.

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