internet coolguy

n. an internet coolguy is often annoying and extremely disrespectful on the internet, but hilarious. internet coolguys don’t play by the rules, p-ss off internet toughguys, and use the internet for one thing and one thing only: to make other people feel worse about themselves. the internet coolguy will ask you questions about your personal life in order to feel out how important the internet is to you. upon discovering significant importance, the internet coolguy will proceed to call you derogatory and hateful names until you either cry, get mad, fight back, or report them. the only way to defeat an internet coolguy is to either ignore him (no matter how difficult) or come to realize just how funny he actually is.
internet victim: “i’m on the phone with xbox support right now reporting your gamertag.”

internet coolguy: “you think i care? do you have any idea how many people have reported me? tell ya what, call the person on the phone a f-g too for me. and then tell them how much of a p-ssy you are for being a little tattle-tale.”

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