iPhone

sh-t
random guy: hey i got my new iphone
me: oh you mean the phone that is just now adding features that every other phone had like 5 years ago? what a piece of sh-t!
pretty much the coolest portable gadget ever made. it has only one b-tton and everything else is operated by the touch screen. it’s an ipod, a phone, and an internet browser. it can also be a remote control, computer mouse, electric razor, mouse trap, a taser, deodorant, hand grenade, a condom, wipes your -ss, and gives you eternal life.
john: yo, mike, we’re going to a nightclub to get some action. you bring the condoms?

mike: no, i have my iphone
a cell phone that adds “new” features once a year and calls them innovative. most of these features are not new or innovative but rather common on other phones.
apple: this new iphone will have voice chat! you’ll be able to connect on a totally new level you’ve never been able to experience before!
sane person: didn’t nokia, palm, motorola, and sony all have this, like, 3 years ago?
apple: ….not like this! innovation!
(noun) a device used for everything but calling people.
a man walks in a bar with his iphone… he suddenly realises he needs to fart. he logs into itunes and ups the volume thinking ‘the music is loud no one will hear’ so he farts… when he looks around, everyone’s staring at him then he realises… he was listening to his iphone with headphones.
the latest sh-tty fad.
those people who say we call it a piece of overrated sh-t because we can’t afford it, are beyond wrong.
of course we can f-cking afford it, it’s just 600$, but we don’t see the need to buy it.
brat: omfg i got teh iphonezzz!
regular guy: -sigh- you bought that pos too?
brat: omg shut teh h-ll uppp! apple makes greit produkts.
regular guy: how can you live with yourself? i mean, you bought a phone for 600$, what a waste
brat: chepskaet!!1
regular guy:-grabs iphone and throws it away-

honestly, kids these days think that any product apple makes with a lowercase “i” in the beginning of it’s name, is super awesome and is a must have. (see ipod)
a certain device that hinders discourse. in social gatherings, people who do not have iphones are often virtually excommunicated.
non-iphone user: hey guys? …guys? i’m over here.

iphone users: dude, shut the f-ck up. can’t you see we’re on our iphones?
the iphone, while being a relatively good phone is a piece of cr-p. it is behind the technology curve, although being new.

apple claims the iphone retina display is “new,” although devices like the nexus one and nokia n900 have had displays like that for years.

people also call it a smartphone, although it runs a feature phone os. in fact, the only reason the iphone did well at all was because apple made it, thus hundreds if not thousands of developers made mostly useless apps.

other phone that have had apps include…well, pretty much every phone ever made…ever. a real smartphone would run android, windows mobile, linux, or palm os.

the front camera on the iphone 4 is nothing new either. nokia has been making phones with front cameras for at least 5 years, if not more.
dude, i got an iphone!

dude, i got an n900, i can run firefox, run a full desktop operating system, i have a faster cpu, and a sliding keyboard. oh look, a webcam and skype!
an electronic device sp-wned from the depths of h-ll to prey on the idiots of this world that i wouldn’t ever want to own even if someone tried to give it to me for free
random guy : “look! i have an iphone!”

me : “omf! keep that thing away from me!”

←