Italian Hot Pocket
there are several parts to this act, and it evolves over the course of several months. please, do read on;
1. first, you sh-t in a large 1-gallon plastic baggy for roughly a week. be sure to seal this in an even larger baggy, as to keep it from bursting prematurely. a good diet to get your sh-t to the right consistency is very spicy indian food.
2. next, you take said bag and put it under your furnace for about a month. be sure to check it every once in a while. if you smell bad kung pao, then you know that you’ve got a mess to clean up.
3. after allowing the plastic to melt with it’s age and heat exposure, you take this, by now moldy, sack of sh-t, and sneak up on a friend.
4. you tap this friend on the shoulder. as they turn around, you slap ’em right in the face with the sack. because said sack is rather old and weak, it will involuntarily explode, covering you and your friend in a hot moldy residue of three months of carefully planned anger.
i hit joel with an italian hot pocket the other day. i don’t think the smell will come off of him until all his skin has peeled off in another, oh, lets say three years.
when you are folding someone’s laundry, and you sh-t in their pants pockets.
i was so mad that i gave her an italian hot pocket!
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