Japanese Knotweed


a large herbaceous perrenial plant, native to eastern asia. it has hollow stems making it appear similar to bamboo, however it is in no way related. the stems can reach 3-4m in height every growing season. the leaves are green oval, and truncated at the base and it forms creamy white flowers on 6-15cm long racemes (wikipedia 2006)

this plant is every garden owners’ worst nightmare. the botanical version of the bubonic plague. so much so that in the uk it is illegal to plant (under the wildlife and countryside act 1981).
if you cut it down, a new plant can re-grow from a segment of stem only a couple of centimeters long and the roots go deep into the ground. because of this most domestic waste sites will not accept it, and it has to be taken to an incinerator, treated as hazardous waste.

if you find j-panese knotweed, there’s not much you can do
you can:
1, spend your next 10 pay-cheques on specialists to remove it
2, try cutting it down yourself, burning the plant completely as you go, and dumping whatever herbicides you can get your hands on all over where it was and hope!
3, build a bonfire on top of the patch..and incinerate it
4, move house and let someone else deal with it
j-panese knotweed…yeah…you want how much? f-ck that, i’m moving

Read Also:

  • Flanaganed

    when a dude has a one night stand with a chick, pulls out and then j-zzes all over her. works best when the girl is abnormally proper and hates the idea of j-zz. guy 1: “dude! did you hear that alison got flanaganed last night?” guy 2: “haha! she probably freaked out!”

  • chicka chicka-ah

    an action that is used to clear stress; usually something silly he did a chicka chicka-ah to keep from yelling at his little brother.

  • flanders

    someone who takes christianity too seriously, revolving most or all of their everyday life around g-d and/or the bible. those ‘jesus saves’ guys are a bunch of flanderses. the dutch speaking region of the country belgium. inhabitants of this region are called flemmings (no there isn’t a country called “flemm”)the french speaking part of belgium […]

  • Kryptonited

    a physical and mental state achieved when heavily under the influence of alcoholic substances. the drunker you get, you become more akin to superman when he’s near kryptonite. unable to stand, talk and make sensible decisions. man you should have seen alex at the pub last nite, he was kryptonited.

  • Flanderbear

    a fat lazy man who is covered in hair, eats all of your food(especially the last slice of pizza), drinks all of your soda, always get’s the last word in, and cries while losing at halo 2. p.s. the flanderbear is known to smoke the last bowl. “matt, why do you have to be such […]


Disclaimer: Japanese Knotweed definition / meaning should not be considered complete, up to date, and is not intended to be used in place of a visit, consultation, or advice of a legal, medical, or any other professional. All content on this website is for informational purposes only.