Java

java! a different word for coffee.
xabier, did you want any java this morning!?
a programming language commonly used as a solution to everything and anything.
just do it in java!
fix it… with java!

java;
coffee
a programming language praised for its versatility and multiplatform support; however, also carrying ridiculous amounts of overhead, using a f-ckton of system resources, and generally being a pain in the -ss to program in.
praising java for fitting on many platforms is like praising -n-l s-x for fitting both s-xes.
a programming language despised by many veteran programmers as it allows interns to do 95% of the things they do in half the time and without their pasty complexion, decades of hard graft and countless weekends lost at the games workshop.

the veterans wear the forbidden knowledge of pointer arithmetic and varargs as a badge of status and power in much the same way as a fat middle aged shift manager at mcdonalds would dangle a large bunch of from a belt clip in the hope of jabbing his pudgy, nicotine stained finger into a confused and vulnerable trainee.
“garbage collection! that’s what biffa do isn’t it?”
some part of indonesia.
a fully object-oriented programming language. despised by some, it does not compile to machine code as most languages do, but rather to some “bytecode” that is interpreted by the java virtual machine, which is basically emulation no matter what sun says. java programs run relatively slowly, but the syntax is pretty easy, and based on c and c++.
java is a slow mid-level programming language.
system.out.println (“this is java.”);
an object oriented programing language that is based on c++. it is compiled into java bytecode, which can be run by a java virtual machine on any computer. while java programs are typicaly slower than their counterparts, they can run on any platform capable of runing the jvm.
java should not be confused with javascript, a scripting language that only shares a name and some syntax.
public cl-ss java{
public static void main(string args){
system.out.prinln(“h-llo world”);
}
}