Jersey

someone’s name and phone number often used in flirtatious situations.
i was really feeling that girl from last night so you know i had to get her jersey

i know we just met but i’m really enjoying your company. you should give me your jersey, i’ll call you tomorrow, and maybe we could go out sometime?

the parkway
the best state ever where only the strong survive
yea im from jersey, i can kick ur -ss any day or i can get the mafia to do it for me
a small but happenin’ state on the mid-atlantic coast, known for good food, good drugs, and people that don’t tolerate a whole lot of bullsh-t. also, pretty much anything’s legal as long as you don’t get caught.
1. don’t try and hi-jack a plane with boxcutters if there’s anybody from jersey on board…it probably won’t work.
2. who needs fear factor when all you have to do is drive in jersey and visit places like newark, east orange, trenton, or camden.
3. when out-of-staters think there’s something wrong with you for living amongst such chaos, smile and say, “i feel ya. not everyone’s tough enough to live in jersey.”
smells better than nyc and philly.
philly smells like armpit & nyc smells like sewage while nj smells like pink flamboyant roses. =)
1. lets get one thing straight i’m from new jersey. i curse alot. i say “yo”.don’t worry about how i tawk.i never had school on rosh hashana or yom kippur. i sure as h-ll don’t pump my own gas. i know what real pizza tastes like, and i know that a bagel is more than a roll with a hole in the middle. all good nights usually end at a diner, preferably w/ fries. it’s a sub, not a hoagie or worse , a hero, and i wash it down with soda,not pop. and i don’t go to the beach – i go down the sh-r-. its not new york city :it’s simply “the city”. i judge people by what exit they are off the parkway. i know 65 mph really means 80. when someone cuts me off, they get the horn and the finger, and they expect it. i’m from new jersey , and i f-ckin love this place…

2.yeah, i’m from jersey, have been all my life. i’m gonna give you everything about jersey, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

first… new jersey people are conceited. it’s true. we hate
everyone else. and we think we are better than everyone else. and we never stop talking about how great jersey is. then we tell people to “shut the f-ck up” when they tell us all we talk about is jersey. i just recently was in the south … and i can honestly say, that i do think i am better than them. it’s not my fault. it’s cause i’m from jersey. my friends and i were the rudest, most obnoxious people there. everyone just stared at us. then we saw other rude people, and i asked them where they were from. they said jersey.

why are new jersey people self centered? because we have reason to be.

next, some of the most famous people have come from our
state. just to name a few… frank sinatra, bruce springsteen, kevin smith, whitney houston, martha stewart, lauryn hill, catch 22, anne hathaway, queen latifa, my chemical romance, bon jovi, jack nicholson, bruce willis, the four seasons, danny devito, tom cruise .. and the list goes on.

not only do we have famous people, we rank in the top 10 of smartest states every year.

not only are we smart & famous…we’re rich. bergen, somerset, morris, & hunderton counties rank in the countries top 15 richest counties. and despite the slums of newark (yes, newark, not new -ark) & camden which are some of the countries most dangerous places to live, we have 4 of the top 10 safest cities to live in the us.

and we smell? yeah, we do. new jersey smells like -ss. on the turnpike, between exits 14 and 17. that’s like, 5 percent of the entire state.. bayonne, port newark, and secaucus. and the surrounding areas. that’s it. the majority of the state smells like trees. because the majority of the state is trees. in fact, three of new jersey’s cities rank in the countries top 10 least polluted cities. so shove it.

new jersey is ideal. i live 20 minutes away from new york city and 45 minutes away from the famous jersey sh-r-, which by the way is amazing. you think your beach is better? f-ck you. why do you think mtv’s true life had an episode t-tled “i’m a jersey sh-r- girl.” because it’s the best f-cking sh-r- in the country.

my house is 3 minutes to the nearest mall, 5 minutes to the next, and a 10 to the next. i just counted 7 malls within a half hour of my house. find me another state that has all that to offer.

yeah, we have accents. who gives a sh-t? everyone has an accent. and no, we don’t say “joisey.” we do say “cawfee and tawk.” but i can tell you it’s a h-ll of a better accent than you b-tches from the south.

hungry? don’t worry. we have 24 hour diners. a million of them. we also have hoboken which has some of the finest places to eat. and you have not had real italian food until you come here. okay?
and we can’t drive? no.. you can’t drive. in the south the speed limit signs read: speed limit 60.. minimum 45. what? that’s why you people can’t drive. who has a minimum speed limit? new jersey drivers like p-ssing other people off solely because of the reputation. this is what we will do…just so you know…if we see an out of state license plate, we’ll tailgate your -ss. probably because you’re only doing the speed limit & we want to go 20 over. then, we’ll cut you off… and go slow in front of you. because we can. and because when you go home you’re gonna complain about us. we like it, it doesn’t bother us….it’s what we want.

we like fast things. things move too slow in other states. you can tell that someone’s from new jersey by the way they walk. they walk really fast and have a strut that says “i’m better than you.”

music scene? amazing. remember hunka bunka?…djais, and last but definitely not least… tempts!!! enough said. we also have the best local bands… the rap scene, i don’t know much about that, but i know it’s there…& i know it’s good. obviously the club scene. you don’t know club music until you come into new jersey… seriously. – – – – “we don’t pump our gas … we pump our fists.”

just shut the f-ck up. if you go to seaside boardwalk or belmar. you’ll probably see some of the trashiest, sk-nkiest girls & some of the most guido, gelled up hair, armani exchange wearing boys that take too many steroids and have too much s-x… but they are gorgeous and they know how to dance better than anyone you ever met in your life. so yeah, the stereotype that all jersey chicks are trashy, is true … but only if you go to seaside. that’s pretty much it. the rest of the state is full of confident, beautiful people that speak their mind.

the majority of jersey people are italian, or wish they were. we drink & smoke way too much. oh yeah and we throw the sickest parties … in the woods.

what else? giants, jets, nets, and of course the devils. they’re
better than you. so shut the f-ck up. and we have more yankee fans than new york city. come to jersey with a sox hat on … i f-ckin’ dare you!

and oh yeah, we say “yo.” often. and “f-ck.” i don’t complain that you say “y’all” so don’t complain that i say “yo.”

to sum up new jersey, yeah, most of the stereotypes are true,
probably for about 5 percent of the state. the rest of the state is beautiful.

and yeah, we hate you. we love ourselves. wanna know why? because all you b-tches hate us. how would you feel if the other 49 states spent all their time talking sh-t? we deserve to be our own country cause we’re that cool.
yo, lets go down to the (jersey) sh-r-
the livest state on the east coast the heart of the tri-state area, cats always wanna diss jersey but
its live out here,and they mad because they stuck out there in omaha nebraska shotout to the whole 609, 856, 732, 201, 908,973, the whole jersey!!!!
“where you from ock?”
“jersey”

“oh word d-mn kid it gets gully out there!”
the best mother f-ckin state in the country. if you think you’re tough go to camden or jc, we’ll see what’s up. only the strong survive in this state b–tch.
you ain’t sh-t unless you from jersey, we don’t take nothin’ from n-body.
jersey <3 home of the best. best accents. best people. best places. we're so awesome we dont even pump our own gas. if your not from jersey ( meaning you werent born here or you dont live here, so you cant say your from here. and we'll know your not from here when you actually say new jersey ) i feel sorry for you. born and raised in jersey and d-mn proud of it !! see you down the sh-r-. everyone's jealous of those jersey girls ←